How to Receive Feedback Without Getting Defensive–Advance Your Career

Feedback is one of the fastest ways to grow at work—and one of the easiest things to mishandle.

Some people brush off praise. Others get defensive when hearing criticism. But the ability to receive feedback well—both positive and constructive—is a key professional skill that builds trust, improves performance, and strengthens relationships.

Feedback and setting yourself open for improvement is foundational to career advancement.

The good news? It’s a skill you can learn.

Here’s how to handle feedback in a way that helps you grow your career—not shut down.

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When the Feedback Is Positive

Positive feedback can feel great—or surprisingly uncomfortable. Either way, how you respond matters.

Stay Present

Give the person your full attention. Recognition takes effort, and it deserves to be acknowledged. You can even ask for specific details to fully understand the feedback.

Give a Simple Thanks

A genuine “thank you” goes a long way. Avoid downplaying your work or over-explaining—both can make the moment awkward and reduce the impact.

Use It as a Learning Opportunity

If the moment feels right, ask a follow-up question like:
“What stood out most?” or “Is there anything I could improve next time?”

Getting the details will help you to hone in on what works well, and what you should keep doing.

Capture What Works

Take note of the feedback you receive. Over time, patterns will emerge that show what you’re doing well—and where you should keep focusing.

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When the Feedback Is Constructive

This is where things get harder—and more valuable.

Start With the Right Mindset

Even if it’s delivered imperfectly, there’s often something useful to take away. This is where growth and improvement happen. It’s also the place of building your reputation as a professional who responds well to feedback, who wants to hear what’s on people’s mind, and builds trust along the way.

Listen Before Reacting

This is the time to pause and actively listen. Resist the urge to interrupt, explain, or defend. Focus on understanding the message before forming your response. You can say:

• “I want to make sure I understand what you said. This is what I’m hearing, is that correct?”
• “Anything else?”

Stay Open (Even If It’s Tough)

Your body language matters. Staying calm and engaged signals professionalism—and helps you process the feedback more clearly. Remember, when emotions go up, our thinking has a tendency to go down. So, be aware of your body language, your thoughts, your voice and tone and what you are projecting to the other person. This is a skill that you can practice and get better at.

Ask Questions to Clarify

If something isn’t clear, ask for examples. This keeps the conversation productive and ensures you’re responding to the right issue. When others see you engaged in the conversation with a genuine intent to learn and improve, you will become someone they can trust.

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What to Do After the Conversation

The real value of feedback comes after the conversation.

Take Time to Reflect

Give yourself space—especially if the feedback was tough. A little distance can help you assess it more objectively. Review your notes and ask yourself:

• How am I feeling?
• What is my ego telling me?

Then decide.

What to Act On & Make a Plan

Not all feedback needs to be applied. Consider the source, the context, and whether it aligns with your goals, and consider what you’re hearing from others.

If the feedback is useful, identify one or two actions you can take. Ask yourself:

• What specific feedback do I want to focus on?
• What specifically is actionable?
• What resources do I need?

Avoid feeling overwhelmed by making small, consistent adjustments. This will get you started and help you try new skills or behaviors. Starting small often leads to the biggest improvements.

Follow Up

Let the person know you heard them and are working on it. This builds credibility and shows you’re open to continued feedback.

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The Takeaway

Receiving feedback well isn’t about agreeing with everything you hear—it’s about staying open, thoughtful, and intentional in how you respond.

When you approach feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you turn everyday conversations into opportunities to learn, improve, and grow.

As you show your willingness to receive feedback to learn and improve, you will build your competence and trust with others. Your career advancement depends on your ability to do just that.

Your Career Advancement

To build your competence and career skills, consider learning in-demand skills at FranklinCovey–the world’s most trusted organization for leadership and performance development. You can choose from a list of courses to learn practical skills for success–and accelerate your career.

For a full listing, go to FranklinCovey Academy. You will find online courses, such as The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Leading at the Speed of Trust, The 4 Essential Roles of Leadership, Project Management for the Unofficial Project Manager, Writing for Results, Presenting for Impact and many others.

These self-paced online courses are designed to help you learn new mindsets, skillsets and toolsets—and apply your new learning right away. At the completion of your course, you can receive an industry recognized FranklinCovey Certificate.

To help you succeed, you will receive a personal coach to guide you in your learning and application. Your coach will help you stay on track, complete the course, and receive your certificate.